my week in the simulator

this last week i've been doing a simulator course about electronic charting and i've been down on the island again. the course itself was alright, but i really appreciate the way that our instructor went above and beyond to prepare us for the broader responsibility of being a good watchkeeper. it was also very nice to get experience in the simulators to break up all the textbook off-ship learning we've been doing these last few months. i also got confirmation that i'll be doing simulated electronic navigation next month which feels like such a relief to check off on my list- though i'll have to live in a hotel for that month and i'm a little drained by that already. this also means that i won't have to go back to work until june !!!!! very exciting developments for me. overall, even though i've been spending so much time around other people lately, i really feel like my spirit is nourished and i'm not burdened at all by social expectations. it helps too that i sat down and did lengthy journalling about something that has been weighing on me for many many months now and came away with new insights into myself and others... but it isnt for me to discuss here. it really feels that i'm in a stable place right now and it feels effortless to take care of my responsibilities in my daily life. 20250315

quarterly check-in

after treading water these past few weeks i feel such a sense of relief and accomplishment to have passed my meteorology examination. it feels like the time has really flown by since the start of the year and i'm also realising that this means i will have to go back to work soon... but that was inevitable anyways. i'm supposed to spend some time down in the city next week and i'm hoping to get a special treat for myself as a reward... i was thinking something fancy like going for tea and cakes or something along those lines?

i have to confess that it's been a while since i felt inspired enough to create anything substantial for the site... i'm definately not sad or pressured or anything like that; rather just waiting for that creative energy to return to me and biding my time with other hobbies in the meanwhile. i also really tend to struggle with my perceptions of 'oversharing' and 'overexplaining' and sometimes want to completely reconfigure my site when my comfort level suddenly shifts... but forcing myself to endure the potential for shame or vulnerability is also a meaningful action. it's been hard to find the desire to do anything other than study; and then on top of that because i was so occupied with meteorlogy i had no room in my mind or energy left to do the other things i wanted to do. tough break i suppose!

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observations on my walks

my restlessness has reached a point where i need to step out of the house once in a while to walk and burn some of that stored up energy. i went on a walk this morning through the woods by my home and when i looked up i noticed that the trees overhead had this little clearing where light would shine down on a day without cloud cover. it's much colder out than it looks and i've been watching the frost line move up and down the surrounding mountains. the other night during the lunar eclipse i went on a walk and watched the moon disappear behind the shadow of the earth. 20250315